Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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