please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
