Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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