Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
