mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize