just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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