would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
