I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
