Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
