There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
