We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Randomize
