I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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