If that was your dad, he is hot
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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