Betty ford says i'm here all night
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Vodka?
Forever.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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