I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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