actually, I'm a sock model
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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