I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize