I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
