yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
