Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
