So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
