told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
