I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
