Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I had to cum in my sink.
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