i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
