Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
