You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
