NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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