worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
