You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize