Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
