I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
