Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
