do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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