dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize