So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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