my soul wont recognize me after tonight
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
