i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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