if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
