dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
