So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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