and you said cock pushups were impossible
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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