My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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