Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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