She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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