i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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