I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
