I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
