it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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