so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Randomize
