I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
