Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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