I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
