After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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