He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
