Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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