dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
