P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
