Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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