somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize