I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
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